FEARS

2 January 2017

Hello 2017, here is some note to myself

It has been a while i never share about my feelings in my blog. I can’t remember when is the last time i share about my personal thoughts in my social media. As years go by, i started to keep things to myself rather than sharing to public. I miss how things used to be in the past, i miss how true i can be without worrying about people’s opinion. I miss those days i was so passionate about everything. 

You know what, I'm a vey dependent person for the past few years. Every single decision i made, i have to asked that one person. Every single things. Even before i publish a blog post, i will show him my draft before i live it. Just to double check whether it's alright. I’m lack of self confident. Yes i know, i had been relying too much on him, which is wrong. And life taught me the hard way. 

I know..Sometimes life closes doors because it’s time to move forward. And that isn’t a bad things because we often won’t move unless circumstances force us to. After all these years, i learnt to look at what i have, instead of what i have lost. Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left. Life move on anyways. 

Recently, I’ve been struggle a lot with my career and my own business. I’m not very satisfy with what i’ve achieve thus far. I felt lost sometimes. Honestly, It's not easy being a one-man show when it comes to business. Not easy for me, but i have no second thoughts of giving up. I want something more, i want something better. You know, When you decide to get serious about growing your business, the first thing you notice is that you slam up hard against the forces of insecurity, self-doubt and limiting beliefs. I really can’t make decision sometimes. I wish i can have someone to guides me or even encourages me to go for what i want. 

Maybe i shouldn’t expect help from others. Maybe it is time to be independent. 

It’s like the old story that each of us has two wolves in our hearts, always fighting against each other to control us; one good and the other evil. Sometimes, I’ve been feeding the wrong wolf, and it’s been holding me back.  All these negativity cause me to run the other way and abandon my plans most of the time, but more often than not they just cause me to stand still, doing nothing and generally feeling terrible about myself. I really need to get through this. Well, i know i will get through this eventually. All i need is some positivity

Okay, enough of negativity for tonight. Bye